396 MINISODE Barbara Cox: Ovecoming Isolation

Women Innovating Networking Growing Scaling – that’s WINGS … I’m Melinda Wittstock, my mission is to help women take flight to soar to the success of our dreams in business and in life– and create and grow businesses in alignment with our passion and purpose.

On this special Mentoring Minisode of Wings of Inspired Business … we talk about why it’s so much easier for men to refer business to each other than women … and why women are more likely to struggle in entrepreneurship in isolation … ironic given our natural aptitude for community and connection … that we think we have to focus solely on competence.

Here with us today to provide her insights and inspiration is …

Barbara Cox

Barbara is the author of The Muse Process: Unleashing the Power of the Feminine for Success and Fulfillment. She is a psychologist and executive coach who shares the power of the feminine archetype to build community, increase personal intuition, and create lasting change (and profit) in companies and organizations. She has been a featured expert in many publications, such as Cosmopolitan, NBC News, Bustle, and Euro News, as well as for UNESCO’s 2018 World Congress for the Organization of World Heritage Cities, where she spoke on the psychology of building community in groups and cities.

Barbara Cox will be here with her advice in just a moment on our Mentoring Minisode (transition music starts here) and first …

And now to the inspiring Dr Barbara Cox.

Barbara is an authority on how to leverage feminine power.

Her Muse Process theory came to be during a unique time in her life. A new mom, Barbara was also working as a psychologist and executive coach, helping women from all walks of life to rediscover their purpose and reconnect with the “spark” that drives them. She became acutely aware of a pattern that she would see over and over again in her clients’ lives – as they took on new roles, women seemed to lose their sense of individuality, which ignited feelings of isolation and invisibility. Being a new mom herself, Barbara saw this pattern unfold in her own life. And now her 5 step Muse Process helps shift people from hopeless and disengaged to empowered and seen.

Melinda Wittstock:       Barbara, welcome to Wings.

Dr. Barbara Cox:           Thanks, Melinda, for having me. I’m excited to be here today.

Melinda Wittstock:       I’m always excited to talk about what it means to step into our authentic feminine power. And I wanted to start by asking you, “What’s inspiring you right now?”

Dr. Barbara Cox:           Well, it sounds counterintuitive but all the talk online about the Me Too Movement and women speaking up for themselves, that’s inspiring me. At first, it wasn’t. But then, I reframed it to think, “Hey, you know, as a collective, we’re getting in touch with our power. We’re speaking up for ourselves and we’re setting boundaries. And it’s seen, it’s heard, and it’s moving forward,” if that makes sense.

Melinda Wittstock:       It really does. Because I think when we actually talk about shared experience, we don’t feel alone. I think often women can easily feel isolated and we lose our power when we’re isolated. We’re meant to be connected with each other. I’ve found that that’s very inspiring as well, especially if we come at it without being in victimhood. That we come at it as, “Okay, so this happens. What can we do about it?” You know? How can we transcend this?

Melinda Wittstock:       What are some of the challenges that you see right now either with your clients or with your own business? I know as an entrepreneur, failure, for instance, and challenge, it comes with the territory. It’s like every hour of every day and you just get sort of used to it. Most civilians probably couldn’t operate like that with those kinds of inherent ups and downs. But I would like to de-stigmatize them. So, what are some of yours?

Dr. Barbara Cox:           Well, for both me and my clients, I would say … I love how you touched on the isolation … I think people are embarrassed to admit they feel isolated as an entrepreneur, but I’ve noticed a trend. I’ve been doing this almost 20 years and I’ve noticed a trend of a lot more people feeling isolated. It’s probably from the rise of social media and people being on their devices and not connecting one on one as much. But I would say that sense of disconnection is a challenge for me and my clients so I’m always setting action steps for them and for myself to make sure I get out, interact with the world, talk to somebody, and be a human being.

Melinda Wittstock:       Oh, gosh yeah. I think we really crave that connection. And it’s funny, I think with women sometimes, we’re so focused on competency and proving our value that we put our heads down and we toil and make it perfect. And meanwhile, the world is going by and all these guys are out there creating relationship, which is ironically what we’re good at.

Dr. Barbara Cox:           Right.

Melinda Wittstock:       But we don’t do it.

Dr. Barbara Cox:           And touching on that, I would love to just speak up to all of us to really start supporting one another. I analyze my guy friends, and my husband’s an engineer, and guys really … they refer jobs to one another. They go out and play whatever, video games or basketball. And they’re doing their work during that time but in a way that’s really supportive of one another. And yeah, putting your head down and toiling by yourself at work is not the way we’ve evolved to work. So get together with your friends. Go have a glass of coffee or wine or whatever it is you like. Connect.

Melinda Wittstock:       Yeah. It’s great advice, and what a better segue way into the actual advice section of the Minisode. What are your top three go to pieces of advice? And sometimes I like to say pieces of advice you would have told your younger self?

Dr. Barbara Cox:           Right, for sure. I definitely would have told my younger self, “Get a mentor earlier on.” I feel like I’m just learning that the past couple of years. Find another woman that inspires you. Ask her to mentor you. Ask for concrete steps.

Dr. Barbara Cox:           A second piece of advice: sounds counterintuitive, but definitely take some downtime. Go meditate. Go to the beach. Take a nap. Whatever it is. Recharge.

Dr. Barbara Cox:           And was it three that you asked for?

Melinda Wittstock:       Yes. Yes.

Dr. Barbara Cox:           You know, also this is the mood I’m in today. It’s about recharge. Go pet your cat or your … we have a tortoise. Your dog or whatever. And we just got the tortoise a couple of months ago and it’s the most invigorating recharging time of my day. I get the best insights of what I’m going to write my next book on or my blog when I’m hanging out with my cat or my tortoise. So, that’s my odd piece of advice for today. Go spend some time-

Melinda Wittstock:       Love it.

Dr. Barbara Cox:           … with every critter that you love.

Melinda Wittstock:       I do that. I have a golden retriever puppy. My third golden retriever. And so, it’s little … almost 15 weeks old. So cute. But every time I pet little Auggie, I just feel so good. And I have good business ideas in those moments.

Dr. Barbara Cox:           Right?

Melinda Wittstock:       It’s really true. So, that’s awesome. So Barbara, how can people find you and work with you?

Dr. Barbara Cox:           Sure, yeah. The easiest place to find me is on my website, drbarbaracox.com. D-R-B-A-R-B-A-R-A-C-O-X.com. So I would love to hear from you. Love to hear what pets, even, that you’re hanging out with and how it’s helped your business.

Melinda Wittstock:       Awesome. Thank you so much for putting on your wings and flying with us.

Dr. Barbara Cox:           Thank you, Melinda. It’s been great.