422 Emerald GreenForest: The Wealth Vibration
Ever been told that money doesn’t grow on trees? Or that wealthy people are greedy or somehow bad? If you struggle to attract, keep, or accumulate money you likely have some sort of negative money story that keeps you from accumulating true wealth.
I’m Melinda Wittstock and today on Wings of Inspired Business we meet an inspiring entrepreneur who knows how to consciously change our relationship with money.
Emerald GreenForest is known as the Wealthy Life Mentor – and today she shares her advice about how to move out of scarcity thinking … so you can manifest true wealth in your life. Hint: It has a lot to do with boundaries.
Emerald GreenForest is also an internationally recognized speaker, podcaster and “Be The Change” and Quilly Award Winner … She’ll be here in just a moment and first…
make sure you take a moment, follow Wings of Inspired Business on facebook @wingspodcast, Twitter @MelindaWings and Instagram @melindawittstock2020. And if you like what you’re hearing, please review us on iTunes so more women can find these amazing interviews and soar in business.
Now back to the inspiring Emerald GreenForest.
They say money doesn’t grow on trees but Emerald GreenForest is one of America’s Premier Experts on conscious wealth building and creating transformational change. She is a connector and catalyst for the Creative Age Leader™ – and established an international reputation as the author of 7 books & contributing author to another 15. As an online and offline speaker she presented over 500 times in 10 years and shared both Live & “virtual” stages with luminaries like John Assaraf a star in the blockbuster movie “The Secret” and NY Times Best Selling Authors like Sark and Marianne Williamson.
Emerald is the creator of multi sensory, interactive live & virtual experiences that catapult the Creative Age Leader™ into their grandest adventure by expanding their consciousness, elevating their perspective & activating them to align and take action so they can leverage their connections, creativity, and capital in a revolutionary manner.
She is also the executive producer & hostess of the itunes Top 200 Ranked Men On Purpose Podcast, as well as her new podcast Wickedly Smart Women … and she also facilitates exclusive, invitation only, total immersion retreats called Leading Like A Legend designed to forge collaborative bonds and coalesce capital and creativity to launch or further your legendary vision and bring it fully to life.
We’re going to talk about all things abundance and wealth for entrepreneurial women … how to create boundaries necessary to manifest (and hold on to) your wealth and the primary differences between men and women on how we see money and wealth – and where women can go astray on accumulating it. She also shares her
“Five I’s of the Wise”.
Melinda Wittstock: Emerald, welcome to Wings.
Emerald Greenforest: Thank you so much for having me, Melinda.
Melinda Wittstock: I’m excited to have you on because of all the work you do with so many people to elevate our consciousness and also help us change our money stories. What is it about people and money? You know, so many people have a hard time attracting and have a hard time holding on to it.
Emerald Greenforest: I love this question. So I’m going to dive right into the consciousness aspect of this, Melinda, because I know this audience is going to be resonant with this. I believe that there are actually three vibrations around money right now. The first vibration is the scarcity vibration and that’s when money is literally like water in the desert. It comes in and it disappears instantaneously. The second vibration is the vibration of abundance. Now, this might sound a little controversial, but when you get to the vibration of abundance, abundance can actually be super overwhelming. So abundance is like being dropped in the middle of the ocean.
Emerald Greenforest: You cannot deny there’s money all around you. You cannot deny there are opportunities all around you. You see all those bright, shiny wave tops and you go swimming after them. Or you feel so overwhelmed by all the choices that you have, that you make no choices and you end up treading water and sinking when you’re in this realm of money-in-the-abundance frequency. Just to give an example, there’s actually 49 different varieties of Crest toothpaste alone. How do you make a decision, like for just Crest toothpaste?
Emerald Greenforest: So that’s the abundance vibration. Then, when we hit the wealth vibration, this is like the Colorado River, the Hoover Dam, and Lake Mead. You have boundaries, which is the dam. There’s a container, which is the lake. And then, there’s flow, which is the river that actually comes into the lake and also comes out through the dam and the Colorado River analogy also lends itself to talk about how it becomes generative when you’re in the wealth vibration. Because the dam system, this boundary system, actually creates electricity. It generates. So those are the three frequencies of money that we’re dealing with. I like to work with people to help them move out of scarcity and abundance and into a wealthy life.
Melinda Wittstock: . Emerald, I love this because so often, we talk about abundance like that’s the end, just to have an abundance like money does grow on trees. But if we can’t focus our efforts around it, if we have so many opportunities we can’t decide or your metaphor about drowning in the abundance, that’s a really interesting way of looking at it. You do need to have the boundaries. And so, give me an example in the wealth frequency of what an entrepreneur is doing and who that person is being that generates that kind of wealth frequency with the right boundaries around it.
Emerald Greenforest: Yeah, great. I will use an example. My client, Lisa Sasevich, who also happened to be my mentor … I was her client and she was my client. And we started working together 10 years ago. When we first started working together, I actually supported her in stepping into her leadership role in a more powerful way and it was all about the boundaries. It was all about the boundaries. As a result of our work together, she was able to double her first seven-figure year. She’s since gone on to be an Inc. 500 company to watch on the Inc. 500 list twice in a row. She’s generated almost $50 million in revenue in the last decade.
Emerald Greenforest: The main piece that allows the wealth to continue to accumulate is having clear boundaries. That means boundaries on time. That means boundaries on how her business is structured in service to her highest good. That means boundaries on how her team functions, what her offers are. So the boundary piece is really what makes the difference between abundance and wealth and having the discipline to stay within your lane, you know, your self-created lane, is the key, in my opinion. And being willing to stay clear, but also, in her case, I found her to be kind in the expression of her boundaries.
Emerald Greenforest: It’s unmistakable that she’s setting a boundary and yet, she’s not mean about it. She’s not harsh about it. She’s just very kindly saying, “No, that’s not going to happen.” Right? So really being conscious of how much of your time and your energy is being directed into like, putting out fires and how much of your time and energy is being directed into that which is generative and put the boundaries up so that you’re putting out less fires and spending more time doing what’s generative.
Melinda Wittstock: Yes. You see, entrepreneurs, by definition, have lots of ideas and create lots of opportunities. In fact, we see opportunities everywhere. We’re kind of by nature in that kind of an abundance. So it can be very difficult to create those boundaries, especially at early stages of companies where you’re not really 100% sure yet what is going to be the thing. If you’re lacking that, I don’t know, sense of surety or whatever, you can sometimes be spread too thin. I see a lot of entrepreneurs running around in circles, chasing, “Oh, I should be doing this. No, someone says I should be doing that. No, I should be doing this. No, that. No, wait, wait, ah, ah, ah, right?”
Emerald Greenforest: Right. And now, that’s all external pull, rather than internal vision and focus.
Melinda Wittstock: Exactly. And it’s so easy, so, so easy to fall into that trap. Do you think there’s a difference between men and women when it comes to these frequencies of abundance and wealth?
Emerald Greenforest: I do. I do.
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah, so tell me a little bit about that. I mean, you have these two podcasts: one that’s about men, Men on Purpose and one about Wickedly Smart Women. So what’s the difference between men and women when it-
Emerald Greenforest: Well, I’m going to use as an example my own self, when I first got activated to being into the entrepreneurial game. My, at that time, he was my husband. He’s now my second “wasband”.
Melinda Wittstock: A wasband.
Emerald Greenforest: He’s my second wasband, right?
Melinda Wittstock: I love that.
Emerald Greenforest: He was very simple, like just give me the goal and I’ll go make the goal. Just give me the goal. I’ll go make the goal. Tell me what the goal is. And I, at the time, was spread out all over the fricking place. I had literally 27 projects going at once, 27. None of them were advancing to completion. They were all in varying stages of incompletion. He sat down with me one day and he said, “You got to pick just three things, just three things.” And I am now finding many years later, and he’s now deceased, so he’s coming to me from the other side and saying, “Just stay focused on three things.” Right?
Melinda Wittstock: Right.
Emerald Greenforest: The other thing that I have found recently for me that has been very helpful is not only focusing on three things, but also focusing on three-month increments. I have discovered by doing that, only three things, three-month increments, that when I get swiped up the head with the next big, fine, wonderful, exciting idea, I can put it into what I call cold storage. I have had cold storage for many years, Melinda, actually down in my basement. I put stuff down in my basement so that I know it’s still there. It’s kind of planted in the earth. It’s in cold storage. I’m not losing it, but I’m not focusing and I’m not energizing it right now.
Melinda Wittstock: Right. Right. But it’s there. You’ll get to it.
Emerald Greenforest: Exactly, if I’m supposed to. I mean, I have one little project called … It was a card deck called, Dance Through Your Divorce. It was actually the thing that initiated me on the journey of becoming a mentor in the personal and professional development space. It’s this beautiful card deck that I made and it’s all handmade. This card deck has been in cold storage for 13 years and finally, I just got tired of it being in cold storage and I made one deck. I just made one deck on moo.com, so I could say I’ve finished the darn thing. You know what I mean? But will it ever see the light of day and be marketed? Who knows; probably not. But I felt a sense of completion when I actually had the printed cards in my hand and I was able to let it go.
Melinda Wittstock: This reminds me of Sara Blakely from Spanx who, when she’s talking about all the many ideas she has, she writes them down. She keeps them, like keep the idea. That doesn’t mean you have to do the idea right now. But just keep the idea, note it down. Maybe the right time is now or maybe later, whatever. But if it’s meant to be, if you’re meant to get to it, you will get to it. But yes, you can’t do it all at once. I mean, I think so much of this is knowing who you are and what you’re, here in your earth suit, meant to do.
Melinda Wittstock: That’s a difficult one right there for a lot of people because we’re so pulled by all the “should’s”, all the things that we think we’re supposed to be doing. And we’re social animals, so we’re influenced by so many things and well-meaning people who might be leading us off and away from our North Star. So how much is it really about, like when you have that clarity of purpose and you know your mission, you know the thing that gives you joy, you know why you’re here, what you’re meant to do, what your mission is, I find when you arrive at that point, it’s so much easier to make those decisions. Because you have a methodology or you have a framework on whether it’s a yes or a no.
Emerald Greenforest: Well, I would agree with you and I would also say that everything we’ve talked to up until now actually points to one of the five ways that women ward off wealth and that way is worry. When we are running around trying to grasp at everything, we’re actually running from worry. We’re worried we’re going to like, “Oh my God. If I don’t do that, then I’m not going to make it. If I don’t do that, I’m not going to make it. If I don’t do that, I’m not going to make it.” You know, “Oh my God, my peeps over there are going to that event. Maybe I should go to that event.” It’s all about looking outside and being in an internal state of worry that you’re not going to fulfill your purpose. Before we even get to knowing what our purpose is, there’s this driving, underlying worry that can often be running behind the scenes for a lot of people.
Melinda Wittstock: Oh, it’s true. It’s the thing that drives FOMO. It’s the thing that drives people when they’re looking at social media and people are posting all these amazing things that have happened. And they’re like, “Oh my God, I guess I should be doing that or I should be doing this, this, that and that.” If you wake up in the morning and the very first thing you look at is your email, then you’re letting someone else control your agenda.” And if the very first thing you look at is social media, it’s really the same thing. Really, in the morning, it’s got to be, start of your day, it’s got to be about you.
Emerald Greenforest: Absolutely. The beginning of your morning should really be about self-care and aligning with your vision and being in a sense of wonder, which is actually the antidote to worry. I have five ways that we ward off wealth and five ways that we can welcome it instead and wonder is the antidote to worry. So if you start your morning in a sense of wonder, knowing that you have things ongoing and plans in the works and all of those things, but instead, surrendering all that for the morning and giving yourself that spaciousness to wonder. Like, “I wonder what it would be like if I did X. I wonder what it would be like if I listened to Y.”
Emerald Greenforest: “I wonder what it would be like if I opened up and allowed more space and time for myself to just be present with how I feel and what I want?” To really be in that state of wonder is a huge antidote for worry and also opens up the doorways for massive amounts of synchronicity, which you and I both know is the magic that can take a small, tiny seed and turn it into a gigantic oak, right?
Melinda Wittstock: Mm-hmm (affirmative). It’s so, so true. So from worry to wonder, what are the other four blocks or things that stand in the way of realizing wealth?
Emerald Greenforest: Yeah, so the other four ways that we ward off wealth, they’re all W’s, so I’ll tell you all four of them. And then if you want to go into any one of them deeper, we can. So withdrawing, waffling, whining, usually over wine, and waiting on. So the five ways are worrying, withdrawing, waffling, whining, and waiting on.
Melinda Wittstock: Okay, so these are all good and I’d like to dig into all of them, if you don’t mind. Would that be-
Emerald Greenforest: Sure.
Melinda Wittstock: So we know that the antidote to worry is wonder. So what about withdrawing, I guess is the exact opposite. Talk a little bit about that.
Emerald Greenforest: Yeah. So I’ll give you an example of withdrawing. Let’s say, for example, you and I met at the New Media Summit, right?
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah.
Emerald Greenforest: So let’s say, for example, you were an attendee at the New Media Summit. You got up there, you did your pitch, you got all kinds of invitations, and then you went home and you threw them in a box.
Melinda Wittstock: Oh, my goodness. Yes, because- [crosstalk 00:24:22]
Emerald Greenforest: … hold your energy back, you just pulled your energy out. You just withdrew from the entire activation and experience.
Melinda Wittstock: Why do people do that? Are they, deep down, afraid that they’re not up to it or they don’t believe they can do it? What causes that withdrawal?
Emerald Greenforest: Oh, I think it’s the abundance problem, if you want to know the truth about that, which is the next problem where we ward off all this waffling. Waffling is not being able to make a decision. So you’ve made the decision to go to the event. You’ve done all the things you needed to do. You’ve collected all the stuff you needed to collect. But then you go home and you go unconscious because all these other things come up in front of you that you need to decide on. And you can become paralyzed in indecision. “Well, oh my God, I have all these leads or these opportunities, but my administrative assistant just quit. Well, I got to go take care of that.” Or, “My website is down. Oh, I got to go take care of that.” Or, “My phone is broken. I got to go take care of that.”
Emerald Greenforest: It’s not like it’s an intentional withdrawal, necessarily. A lot of times, I think, it’s more of a loss of the focus. It’s a loss of the priority of what is the most important thing. If the most important thing, for example, if you’re a messenger is to expand your reach with what you teach, then the most important thing is to get booked on all those podcasts, regardless of whatever else is going on. So waffling and withdrawing kind of go together a little bit. The antidote for withdrawing is weaving. What weaving is, is really making a conscious effort to, on a daily basis, maintain at least one thread of connection.
Emerald Greenforest: So using our example of the New Media Summit, okay, take one and get yourself booked and then tomorrow, do another one and get yourself booked. The third day, reach out to somebody who was there who talked to you about maybe partnering with them. And the next day after that, if you’re going to go on social media, go on social media for the purpose of creating relationship, not for the purpose of standing at the window looking in at somebody else’s life.
Emerald Greenforest: Constantly weave these threads of connection because it’s the weaving of these threads of connection that actually build your support matrix and allow you to advance your plan because no plan is advanced with one person, ever. No really big, important thing that is going to happen in the world is done with one person.
Melinda Wittstock: Well, that’s so true, too. I mean, that was the other way that I perceive the withdrawal is women so often self-isolate and don’t ask for help when they need it. Moreover, when it’s being offered are unable or unwilling, for whatever reason, to receive it.
Emerald Greenforest: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Yep. Exactly. That’s exactly right. Part of the work is to dismantle all of the old programming and internal dialogue. And those experiences that you have had in your life that prevent you from receiving and feeling like you have something of value to offer and feeling like you can actually ask for help. You know, for me, it took me years before I felt like it was okay to ask for help. Especially in the U.S., we have this very ingrained cultural mythology of the rugged individualist. So it’s not just your own internal stuff that’s going on, we also have this cultural programming that’s causing us to want to conform to that cultural programming, which is actually really destructive.
Melinda Wittstock: Very, very true. Very true. And so now, the final one.
Emerald Greenforest: Whining and waiting.
Melinda Wittstock: So let’s get to the whining part. Now I perceive this is that when you’re whining or complaining about … Let me say that again. Let’s get to the whining part. Because I don’t know about you, Emerald, but when I see people whining or complaining, it’s like they’re giving up their power. They’re putting it on something external to them when the answer is within. Why do you think? Is that why people fall into that? It’s easier to blame someone else or something else than to face the internal?
Emerald Greenforest: Well, I think it’s habitual. I really think it’s habitual and I do think that, especially for women, there is a cultural reward that we get for bitching and moaning and whining and complaining. It’s something that, in business especially, the flashlight that I want to shine on the whining thing, and generally, it’s done over wine, there’s two problems with this. Number one, everything that you speak into the world is what you are creating. So if you’re speaking in complaints, you’re actually creating more things to complain about. If you’re speaking in blame, you’re actually creating more opportunities to feel like you need to blame.
Emerald Greenforest: If you are speaking into your sad money story, you’re just continuing to create the sad money story. When you’re doing it over wine with a group of other women, you’re actually creating a collusion. They are colluding and so not only are you putting your energy out there in this negative way, but you are also bringing on all the energy of all of those other women who are colluding with your story and when we are drinking, things get a little bit lower in consciousness at the very least and sometimes, a lot bit lower in consciousness.
Emerald Greenforest: So now, you’re also inviting in lower levels of consciousness, lower levels of vibration, to go into this cauldron of yuck. And now what I want to make clear here is it is wise to have safe containers set up where there’s agreement that I’m going to come in and I’m going to lay on the table all the things that I’m having a challenge with right now, Melinda, right?
Melinda Wittstock: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Emerald Greenforest: But that’s different than what I’m talking about, which is all the girls getting together and bitching and moaning about, you know, their business, their boyfriend, their bank accounts, whatever it is they’re bitching and moaning about.
Melinda Wittstock: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Right. Yeah. It doesn’t get anyone anywhere. It just spreads it. It’s not good. I find if I’m around people who are doing that, I have to get away like, speaking of boundaries, that’s one of my boundaries.
Emerald Greenforest: Exactly. Exactly.
Melinda Wittstock: I just don’t want to be around that energy at all. It’s an interesting time living here in the United States, where just in the political system. I mean, it’s constant.
Emerald Greenforest: Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Melinda Wittstock: Right? And how to just not let that energy in, it’s a real challenge. So the next one is waiting, right?
Emerald Greenforest: It’s more than waiting. It’s actually waiting on.
Melinda Wittstock: Waiting on.
Emerald Greenforest: So there’s … Yeah.
Melinda Wittstock: This is waiting. This is like dependency. It’s like waiting on someone else to do something.
Emerald Greenforest: That’s one part of waiting on and the other part of waiting on is waiting on everyone else. In other words, taking care of everybody else’s problems without taking care of your own.
Melinda Wittstock: Oh, yeah. I see what you’re saying. Okay, so you’re literally waiting on. Like you’re the cocktail waitress, making sure that-
Emerald Greenforest: Correct.
Melinda Wittstock: … everyone else’s glass is full before yours, right.
Emerald Greenforest: Correct. Correct. So there’s that kind of waiting on and then there’s also, this one is double. It’s got a double-edged sword. There’s the waiting on everyone else and then there’s the waiting on the Prince Charming to come along with the glass slipper or the rescuer to come along with a bag or money or the horse to come along that’s going to carry you off into the sunset. Yeah.
Melinda Wittstock: I love this. This is so clever. I love how you use the words and the alliteration and all the W’s. I mean, it’s so, so clear. So assuming that a woman listening to this podcast right now recognizes herself in one or two or all of the W’s that are standing between her and wealth. What are the next steps? What does she do?
Emerald Greenforest: Well, that’s a great question. So, I actually created a thing called The Wealthy Wife Method and these five ways that we ward off wealth come right out of my first step. The first step is wake up and walk away from what’s not working. That is your first step. So, if we’ve shined a light here for the women who are listening around these five symptoms that are causing you to ward off wealth, the invitation here is to wake up and get out of waffling and engage your wisdom to make the choice to walk away from what’s not working.
Emerald Greenforest: Whether that’s a marriage or it’s a business or it’s a team member or it’s the way you’re spending your money or it’s how you’re using your credit cards or it’s how you’re going to events and then hiding after you come home, whatever it is, if there’s something that we have illuminated here for you, this is the step: wake up and walk away from what’s not working.
Melinda Wittstock: So smart. So tell me a little bit about how you became the wealthy life mentor. I mean, what was the spark that led you down this path?
Emerald Greenforest: Years of having really, really, really, really bad boundaries, you know.
Melinda Wittstock: Oh, I know that one because, for years and years and years, I also had really bad, bad boundaries. I think a lot of women do. So what was the aha moment? What was the spark or the trajectory that brought you into this healed state around money and allows you now to help so many others do the same?
Emerald Greenforest: Well, you know, I took this journey. I have worried, I have withdrawn, I have waffled, I have whined, I have waited on. I’ve taken the journey and I think the spark that sent me in the direction of setting myself up to start serving in this way was a major life rupture, which is generally, unfortunately what often happens for people if you don’t wake up and walk away from what’s not working, then the universe is going to send you the cosmic Mack truck to hit you upside the head.
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah, it’s a cosmic alarm clock or a Mack truck. The Mack truck’s a little more awkward.
Emerald Greenforest: Yeah, well, I can’t remember who said it, but they say that you get the whisper and then you get the knock and then you get the two by four. and in my case, I got the whisper, I got the two by four, and then it took a Mack truck to literally take me out of the way my life was organized and the way I was thinking and the way I was behaving in my life. It really took a significant life rupture in order for me to wake up. I don’t want to really get into the depth of that right now, because I’ve made a conscious decision that I am no longer pimping my pain, Melinda.
Melinda Wittstock: I just love your words. I’m still recovering from the “wasband”, right, and now the pimping your pain. This is amazing.
Emerald Greenforest: I mean, a lot of-
Melinda Wittstock: [crosstalk 00:36:56] are quote cards for this episode.
Emerald Greenforest: Well, a lot of mentors and coaches out there say your mess is in your message, or your message is in your mess or you can go out and find the purpose in your pain. I actually did that for a number of years, Melinda, and I was actually very abundant. I was abundant. I definitely had money coming in and money was going out. I had lots of choices available to me and I was chasing after all kinds of things. Like, the more I pimped my pain, the more pain I was bringing into my life. And I’d come to the conclusion that while in the right environments, it’s okay to share some of the deeper stories of my life, I am complete with, literally, I am complete with pimping my pain. If people cannot hear the wisdom that I have to deliver just by delivering the wisdom, then they aren’t my people.
Melinda Wittstock: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Mm-hmm (affirmative). Yeah. Absolutely. That is so, so profound. I think it’s interesting, though, for the type of people and I’m in this category as well, I needed the Mack truck, also. Is it just because our brains are just so wired, especially if you have a very active mind. My case, just a very, very active left brain which would override the intuitive side and what’s happened to me now is just a lot more bounds. My intuitive actually has the upper hand now. But it was a real struggle and I think our ego or that part of ourselves that has to be right, or it’s just that it’s comfortable because it’s what we know. And what we know isn’t necessarily good for us, but we know it, so it’s familiar and we kind of stay in that.
Emerald Greenforest: Yeah, well, it was survival, girl. I mean, I don’t know about the age range of the people who are listening to this, but I came up in the time where we were expected to bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and never, ever let him forget he’s a man. So literally, we were the Enjoli generation, right?
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah.
Emerald Greenforest: So we were actually, my generation was this bridge from the old Father Knows Best cultural style, where the father goes to work and the mother stays home and she’s the homemaker. I mean, I grew up with a mother who prepared me to be an executive wife. She did not prepare me to be an executive. Then we came into the world where everybody was burning their bras and the women were going into all kinds of industries. I went into the real estate industry, you know, primarily male, and I had to become a bitch on wheels in order to fricking survive. I had my red power suit and my come-fuck-me pumps that I was wearing. You know what I mean? Like, get out of my way, right?
Melinda Wittstock: Oh, God, I love it. I remember all those sharp shoulder-
Emerald Greenforest: Super pads. Super pads.
Melinda Wittstock: I mean, I had all those. I started out … As a kid, I was very entrepreneurial and I had these little ventures. But then I became a journalist, you know? And I remember, I was often the only woman in the room. I was a financial correspondent. I got underestimated all the time, which was good. It got me stories, because people would just tell me things, thinking, “Oh, she doesn’t understand.” I’d break these massive scoops and it kind of worked in my favor on one level. But in the newspaper, I remember these days in The London Times.
Melinda Wittstock: I joined this paper. I’m like, 22 years old and there were hardly any women. The women that were there and were above me or equivalent to me, would do everything they could to compete only with the other women. And just really speaking about, oh God, it was so bitchy. There were no female mentors and no real female relationships and it was very, very isolating.
Emerald Greenforest: It was vicious, vicious.
Melinda Wittstock: Vicious, absolutely vicious. This kind of reminds me of this quote we used to laugh about when I worked at the BBC all these years ago, like, “Never have so many fought so bitterly for so very little.”
Emerald Greenforest: Exactly. Exactly.
Melinda Wittstock: Right? And those times, they seem far away and yet there are echoes of it, still, where women can still be in that scarcity, like, “Oh my goodness. If she does well, then oh, maybe I won’t.” I mean, this podcast and the community and everything that I’ve created around Wings, I mean, I have a very specific mission around, oh God, can we get past that, please, and really show up and lift as we climb and support each other? Because I think we’re so much stronger when we’re really in it together.
Emerald Greenforest: Yeah, well, I think also, Melinda, I think that it does still exist, but a lot of it’s now internalized. We’ve taken the bitchy and turned it towards ourselves, right? Inside our-
Melinda Wittstock: Oh, yeah. Our worst critic, I don’t know. You find yourself speaking to yourself like you wouldn’t let your worst enemy speak to yourself, in a way.
Emerald Greenforest: Exactly. You wouldn’t let anybody speak that way to anybody else. And so yeah, I think part of the work here is for us to begin to dismantle the expectation that we have to be more manly than the men. It’s interesting, we’re in the political season again. I watched the last election and I got a very clear message that the universe was sending through that the reason that Hillary, at a metaphysical level, could not have the office was because it would have sent a energetic message that the way to get the office is to work 10 times harder and be 10 times smarter than even the dumbest man, right?
Melinda Wittstock: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Mm-hmm (affirmative). Well, Hillary was of that generation where you can just see what she had to do to get where she was.
Emerald Greenforest: I had a lot of gratitude for all the women who were willing to put on, literally, the football pads, right?
Melinda Wittstock: Right.
Emerald Greenforest: To go into the trenches to break open that space and the invitation now is to say, “Okay, where are we? And what do we really want to co-create with one another as women and with men, in a way that is actually evolved from both of those, both the old authoritarian Father Knows Best and the old, now old and dying, bitch on wheels that had to literally, be like a tank to get through and survive.”
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah, true. When you hear of female politicians talking about like, “I’m going to fight for you and fighting and fighting,” it’s like no, no. It’s not a good look on us.
Emerald Greenforest: Not at all.
Melinda Wittstock: I’d rather attract and manifest, you know?
Emerald Greenforest: Exactly.
Melinda Wittstock: Why, why? I think as we evolve and realize that feminine power is not an oxymoron, that you can move mountains being feminine or being in that feminine energy, using these things. It used to be called soft skills. I haven’t heard anyone really say that recently. It feels a little demeaning because they were actually very powerful skills. When women are really in there sacred, leveraging that energy, it’s like intuition, an attraction and also the way our brains work in business to see, connect the dots, and see systems and relationship.
Melinda Wittstock: All of those amazing things are very, very powerful skills that uniquely suit women to run game-changing, mission-driven businesses that can actually solve a lot of the world’s problems. I think we’re actually in a really good place now to be able to go and do that, so long as we can get rid of all that internal stuff, right?
Emerald Greenforest: Exactly. Well, it’s interesting because I happened to have somebody on Facebook, a guy on Facebook, who keeps putting out these very provocative posts about power being a word that’s really coming from a woman’s masculine shell. So just for fun, what I’m going to do is see if we can reframe. Instead of calling it feminine power, I prefer now, I’m working with, I’m playing with, the idea of feminine capacity. For me, capacity really speaks to creating this reservoir, this well of wisdom, this vessel, this container. And in the amplification of our capacity, it also amplifies our magnetism.
Emerald Greenforest: So it’s a different dynamic, whereas power and activation is one dynamic and capacity and magnetism is another dynamic. I think that we all have both masculine and feminine and the work, the really deep work is to internalize the divine union between both within us.
Melinda Wittstock: I couldn’t agree with you more. In fact, sitting in the middle of the Amazon rainforest, that was my takeaway. When you looked actually at this beautiful, abundant forest, but the … And this is appropriate to talk to you with your name, Emerald Greenforest. So I’m going to take you into the Amazon for a moment. You see how it’s perfectly balanced and it was, like the ebb and flow of the masculine and feminine energy. I remember sitting there, thinking to myself, “Yeah, that’s the highest expression of a human being, either a man or a woman, when we’re really leveraging the best of both. We’re in … ” How to explain it? Hold on. When we’re really leveraging the best of both of those qualities from a really kind of divine or more sacred space, does that resonate to you? What does that look like in practice?
Melinda Wittstock: If you think of a woman who is a strong woman. She doesn’t have to be a dude, but there is a masculine aspect around just getting things done and focus and those sorts of things. And leveraged, too, with the feminine ability to attract and see the whole picture and the relationship and everything when you leverage all of it, is very powerful, speaking of power.
Emerald Greenforest: Yeah, well, I think it’s very generative where, again, I’m going to reframe the words here because I feel like I want to play with power and action and activation on the masculine side and capacity and magnetism on the feminine side-
Melinda Wittstock: Yeah, I get it.
Emerald Greenforest: … and even as we unify, then we talk about being generative. So all I can say, Melinda, is what is working for me right now and was a huge, huge, huge energetic shift for me, personally, which emerged out of … I’m an artist, as well as a mentor to people, and art is my way of connecting with my soul and with the world and accessing a lot of information and insights. So there’s a colleague of mine who runs International Soul Art Day. So this year on International Soul Art Day, my piece became a pointer for this. What happened was the masculine aspect of my inner world, before, had been head to head with the feminine aspect of my inner world. And in this art piece, the masculine flipped.
Emerald Greenforest: So the masculine energies are now grounding and providing solid foundation and support and underneath in the earth, and the feminine energies are rising up and flowering. If you’d like, I’ll send you a picture of that piece of work-
Melinda Wittstock: Oh, that’s beautiful.
Emerald Greenforest: … that I did. Yeah. And as soon as I flipped, now they’re not fighting one another. They’re actually serving one another because if you look at the painting, she is singing to his feet and he is fueling her roots and then a flower is coming out of her heart. They’re both generative. A green, leafy piece is coming out of his heart as well. So, yeah, I’ll send you that so you can take a look at it. And I flipped it internally, so now, they’re in a … It’s funny. They’re kind of in a 69 position, Melinda.
Melinda Wittstock: That’s hilarious.
Emerald Greenforest: But it’s working. It’s working and it’s like, I feel like the internal conflict, the fight, has stopped.
Melinda Wittstock: Yes. Yes. Well, that’s just so, so beautiful. Emerald, I could talk to you for hours, you know that, right? So you will have to come back on the podcast and I know I’m going to come on yours, too. I can hardly wait for that. Is there any final, as we wrap up, any kind of final words of wisdom as someone … You know, you created two million bucks working from home. That’s amazing, right? We’ve all created these amazing businesses and they’re all different shapes and sizes. But what are you final words of inspiration for our amazing group of women who listen to this podcast?
Emerald Greenforest: Yeah, so I’m going to give you the I’s of the wise. They’re five I’s. The first I is take inspired action and only inspired action. Don’t be taking action because somebody else is trying to convince you to take it. Take action because it’s coming from your deep inspiration, so inspired action. Generally, that means that you also that you also have to invest in yourself. Following the investment, you want to immerse in whatever it is that you’ve invested in. Then you want to integrate and that means take what works and throw away the rest.
Emerald Greenforest: Then ultimately, you want to implement all that you have gathered from taking inspired action, investing, and immersing into integrating. Those are the five I’s of the wise.
Melinda Wittstock: I love it; the five I’s of the wise. You are amazing with words, my dear. I enjoy this. It’s just wonderful. Thank you so much for putting on your wings and flying with us. I want to make sure that everybody knows where they can find you and how to find your podcast and how to work with you.
Emerald Greenforest: Yeah, so they can find my podcast at Men on Purpose Podcast or Wickedly Smart Women. They’re two separate podcasts, anywhere that podcasts are being aired, Google Play, Spotify, iHeart Radio, iTunes, all of those places. Then if anybody has any interest in finding out more about the Five Ways That We Ward Off Wealth and the Five Ways to Welcome It Instead and potentially have a conversation with me, I have a quiz called the Wealth Readiness Quiz that you can go to quiz.wealthylifementor.com.
Melinda Wittstock: Wonderful. Well, thank you so much again, Emerald. It’s a pleasure.
Emerald Greenforest: Oh, thank you for having me.