858 Heather Dominick:

it really is both an inner and an outer process to be on that path of feeling and truly becoming empowered as a highly sensitive person in business and leadership. I say it’s an inner and outer process because the inner piece is really about that re-training of the meaning given to what it means to be highly sensitive, really is a lot around emotional intelligence and energy management and using tools on a consistent basis to support with that re-tracking, or re-training, of those neural pathways.

One in five of us is Highly Sensitive, with ‘off the charts’ empathy, intuition and other traits that can make the hustle and grind of entrepreneurship overwhelming and debilitating. Heather Dominick works with highly sensitive leaders, and with a new must-read book coming out early in this New Year called Different: The Highly Sensitive Leadership Revolution, Heather shares important insights about productivity, pace and success.

MELINDA

Happy 2024! I’m Melinda Wittstock and this is Wings of Inspired Business, where we share the inspiring entrepreneurial journeys, epiphanies, and practical advice from successful female founders … so you have everything you need at your fingertips to build the business and life of your dreams. It blows my mind to think this podcast has been airing now for 7 years … and as we enter this new one, where so much is at stake … our bodies, our rights, our democracy … let’s remember as women that together we’re stronger, and we all soar higher when we fly together.

Today we meet a highly sensitive entrepreneur who helps other sensitive leaders make the most of their unique strengths to achieve more by doing less.

Heather Dominick is the author of the new book Different: The Highly Sensitive Leadership Revolution, and we’re going to be talking about how best to leverage traits like empathy and intuition in business and beyond.

Heather will be here in moment, and first,

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Business as usual doesn’t work for everyone, especially what Heather Dominick describes as highly sensitive entrepreneurs. The power-through mentality of hustle and grind often leads to burnout, overwhelm, and reduced productivity even for the less sensitive among us. It was what Heather described as a “dark night of the soul” that led her to reimagine how she could better succeed in business, and when it led to better results and a happier life, she decided to share her methodology with the award-winning Business Miracles course. Since then Heather has studied what works for the roughly 20% of us that have highly sensitive characteristics, and how to leverage these traits to your advantage.

Let’s put on our wings with the inspiring Heather Dominick and be sure to download the podcast app Podopolo so we can keep the conversation going after the episode.

Melinda Wittstock:

Heather, welcome to WINGS.

Heather Dominick:

Thank you so much. I am really looking forward to our conversation, today.

Melinda Wittstock:

Yeah. Me, too, and Heather, I want to get straight to it with you, in terms of defining what it is to be a highly sensitive entrepreneur, or leader. How do you know if-

Heather Dominick:

Uh-huh.

Melinda Wittstock:

… you are highly sensitive? How does it manifest?

Heather Dominick:

I so appreciate that question. One, clearly it’s something I’m super passionate about. Two, it’s just really important. It’s made such a difference for me and so many others that I mentor. So, in short, being a highly sensitive person actually comes from research in the mid-1990s. There’s one researcher, in particular, who’s most known for her work, and her name is Dr. Elaine Aaron. She’s most known because she wrote the book The Highly Sensitive Person. Again, in short, what it means to be a highly sensitive person is that your nervous system is wired to take in stimulation at a much higher degree than someone who’s not highly sensitive. So that’s everything from sight, sounds, smell, touch, but also emotions, energy, information. What’s also really fascinating about the research is that there’s only 20% of us who are, again, born into the world, highly sensitive.

So for myself, the work that I do supports those of us who are highly sensitive, who also really feel a call to use our unique sensitivity in support of primarily service-based businesses and other leadership positions. Then, it comes to like, “Okay. Well, then, how do you know if you’re one of the 20%?”

So, there’s actually an assessment that Dr. Elaine Aaron created, that’s easily found on the internet. Then, for myself, I expanded upon her assessment specifically for, again, those of us who are called into entrepreneurship and leadership. In short, it’s that those sensitivities, that I listed before, impact the way that you process the world.

So, you might find yourself being the one person in a restaurant who’s wondering, “Why is no one else bothered by how loud it is in here?” Or, though you might absolutely love going to a concert of your favorite performer, afterwards it feels as if you’re taking the concert home with you. Or, you might also find you’re in conversation with someone about something really intense and you’re experiencing it physiologically, as if the event that’s being described to you is happening to you. So, those are just some points. Yeah.

Melinda Wittstock:

So, it’s beyond empathy, in a way. Right? Because-

Heather Dominick:

It is.

Melinda Wittstock:

It sounds like it involves all the senses, smell, hearing, touch, all of these things, not just your mind. Or how you’re processing information, but all these-

Heather Dominick:

You got it. Exactly. Empathy is absolutely one of the top 12 highly sensitive entrepreneur strengths that I’ve identified. What you’re really picking up on and speaking to is that… Again, the research is about the nervous system. So, it’s physiological. It’s not just mental, or emotional.

Melinda Wittstock:

So in an entrepreneurial context, are you more adept at picking up the energy of other people, like their vibes, their intention, that kind of stuff? You have almost like extra sensory perception. I mean, not quite in the official definition of that, but you know what I mean?

Heather Dominick:

Right along those lines. Again, you’re speaking to one of the other top 12 strengths, which is intuition. So, if you think about being in a service-based business, when you really have your highly sensitive nervous system working for you, that really does become so beneficial and really truly strengths to be able to be intuitive, empathic. It gives you a bit of a leg up, if you will, when it comes to being of service to your clients.

Melinda Wittstock:

So, you can “see things” that other people can’t.

Heather Dominick:

Yeah. I would also even say hear things that other people can’t. Another one of our strengths is that we are really deep listeners. So, when I’m working with those that I mentor to really train the nervous system to be more on the strength side versus the shadow side, one of the things that I often talk about is developing that skill to be able to hear between the lines.

Melinda Wittstock:

Right. So, there’s a couple of things about this, somebody that has these skills, but isn’t aware that they’re different. I imagine it could feel kind of lonely. It is like you’re the only person, say.

Heather Dominick:

I mean, really. So well said. Right? It goes back to the research, 20%. So, we’re one out of five. I can definitely say this is my experience. Also, speaks to the fact that the research really wasn’t developed until the mid-1990s. Most of us grew up not knowing, really, that we were highly sensitive, but having a visceral experience of being different. Because we didn’t really necessarily have language or support or teaching around that, we equated different with either weird, or wrong. So, it became this silent secret and often even shameful. So, the work that I do and the mentoring is so much about the retraining of the neural pathways, the nervous system. Also, just the meaning and the feeling and the beliefs that have been ingrained over time about this difference.

Melinda Wittstock:

Yeah. How to take something that feels like a burden, in a way, like feeling lonely, feeling different, having shame around that, feeling perhaps misunderstood, and turn it from the shadow to the light, in the sense that you have a superpower, actually?

Heather Dominick:

Yes, yes. Absolutely.

Melinda Wittstock:

… [inaudible 00:07:08] how that can be utilized. This is really interesting to me. So when you’re working with people. Okay? So, someone takes the test and they’re like, “Oh, man. That explains everything. That’s why.” The light goes off, the epiphany. Talk to me a little bit about the process of transforming that sense of being different into how this can be used really effectively in business. I mean, I can-

Heather Dominick:

Yeah.

Melinda Wittstock:

… lots of ways, as long as you’re empowered with it, but-

Heather Dominick:

Yes.

Melinda Wittstock:

… let’s go through them.

Heather Dominick:

Yes, yes. Yeah. You’ve spoken two of my most favorite words, process and empowerment. So, it really is both an inner and an outer process to be on that path of feeling and truly becoming empowered as a highly sensitive person in business and leadership. I say it’s an inner and outer process because the inner piece is really about that re-training of the meaning given to what it means to be highly sensitive, as we’ve been speaking about. That really is a lot around emotional intelligence and energy management and using tools on a consistent basis to support with that re-tracking, or re-training, of those neural pathways.

Then, that outer process is beginning to not only embrace and accept the difference, but then begin to structure your business systems and operations to support that difference so that you can really be operating from your strengths. So that’s really, literally, the in and out of the process. You also spoke to, “Where do you begin?” I always like to say, “It does need to begin with that inner aspect. Yet, you don’t have to wait on beginning to make those outer system changes until there’s this massive internal shift and transformation.” It’s actually really powerful to be working both side by side. That’s really how the leadership tracks and our leadership training programs are set up to do exactly that.

Melinda Wittstock:

It’s interesting in the context of women in business. I imagine men can be highly sensitive, as easily as women. Does it manifest differently for men and women?

Heather Dominick:

So, the research shows that there is no difference, from a percentage standpoint, of how many men and how many women in the world are highly sensitive. It is 20% of the global population. However, with the work that I’ve been doing with highly sensitive entrepreneurs and leaders, for over a decade now, what I’ve really come to recognize, just really through practicum research is the social hurdles. So, there’s already socialized hurdles for women, in business and leadership, to overcome, in regards to what it means to be highly sensitive, to see it as a strength and not a weakness. Those hurdles are that much grander, if you will, for men in our global society.

Melinda Wittstock:

Right. Because women have this added thing, It used to be called soft power. Do you know? Right, right?

Heather Dominick:

Mm-hmm.

Melinda Wittstock:

Because over our history, we’ve been trained that it’s okay, it’s okay for women to show emotion, but not okay for men to show emotion. So, when we’re in our sacred feminine anyway, or our archetypal feminine, we tend to be more empathetic. We tend to leverage our intuition more. We tend to kind of show our emotion more. Somehow, that could be weaponized against us as somehow being weak. Whereas, it’s really endearing now, when a man shows all of that. So even if you’re not highly sensitive, but you have these characteristics that get labeled weak, or get weaponized against you, in a business context. You can speak to the highly sensitive side of it. How do you navigate that? How do you help people navigate through that, whether it’s office politics, or whether it’s just the challenges of entrepreneurship, which are many, as you build a business? Right?

Heather Dominick:

Yeah.

Melinda Wittstock:

So, how to help yourself through that process as this highly sensitive person?

Heather Dominick:

So first, I think it’s valuable to highlight one of the aspects that I hear you speaking to, which is really more of the range of sensitivity. When I’m working with the members of the Business Miracles Community, or leading a corporate training, I always emphasize that everyone has a nervous system. That is a shared human physiological aspect of who we are and how we are built. Then, it’s really just a matter of where you are on the range. Even the assessment that I share on my website, for entrepreneurs and leaders, the assessment isn’t about whether you are, or aren’t, highly sensitive. It’s about whether you’re somewhat, super, or if you’re like me, you’re super uber highly sensitive. I speak to that range because that understanding makes a difference for, then, how you work with your nature and your wiring, within those pressurized situations that you’re describing.

So, whether that’s a boardroom meeting for someone who’s in corporate, or a presentation. Whether you are in a corporation, or organization, or in your own business, or whatever other more pressurized situations, where the nervous system is going to be stimulated. So having again, that understanding, then literally informs you to be proactive to support yourself and being able to maximize the workings of your nervous system within that pressurized situation.

I really emphasize the proactive. That is so much of how I have literally, intentionally designed the Highly Sensitive Leadership Training programs. It’s not just about what happens once the nervous system is overstimulated, but more so beginning to set up those inner and outer systems, that I spoke to earlier, so that you are more prepared. I like to think of it laying out a red carpet for the highly sensitive nervous system, or just the nervous system in general, so that you’re taking different actions to support yourself before those pressurized situations.

Now, of course, there’s still going to be moments where that overstimulation just kind of happens. Something happens spontaneously, or there’s something that you can’t plan or prepare for. But, or I should say yet, by beginning to develop a core practice where you are intentionally preparing, already then raises the probability of your access to strength within those unanticipated, or unexpected, pressurized situations.

Melinda Wittstock:

So entrepreneurship, especially the kind of entrepreneurship that I engage in, which is tech innovation, with AI. It’s really for female founders in that space. You find yourself really almost being called to use a lot of your masculine because it’s very male dominated industry. There’s so much stuff that has to get done, and milestones. You know what I mean? Because you’re building basically a transformation. You’re trying to disrupt an entire ecosystem, say. Those kinds of big plays.

There’s not a lot of women who take that on. For the ones that do, there are so many challenges already. If you happen to be highly sensitive in that context, it’s a real advantage. You’ve got an advantage. Is there a little bit of a disadvantage, in a way? Talk to me a little bit about that because I think we get so pulled into those masculine paradigms.

Heather Dominick:

Yes, yes. I so appreciate this, and that last phrase is really key, “Pulled into those masculine paradigms.”

Melinda Wittstock:

Yes. I feel-

Heather Dominick:

Yes.

Melinda Wittstock:

… that happened to my own-

Heather Dominick:

Yes.

Melinda Wittstock:

… career. You know?

Heather Dominick:

Of course.

Melinda Wittstock:

How can I balance these?

Heather Dominick:

That’s right.

Melinda Wittstock:

How can I balance? I’m still a woman. Right?

Heather Dominick:

Absolutely. So again, the reason why I really appreciate that is because it acknowledges that this is a new terrain. It acknowledges that for so many of us who are accepting the challenge, which is the title of the first chapter of my book, accepting the challenge to lead as highly sensitives, we have to acknowledge that it is a pioneer move. That requires immense fortitude because of that pull. Of course, it’s so much easier to just go with what has been entrenched for centuries. However, when you are willing to accept the challenge, the payoff is exponential. One of our additional highly sensitive strengths is that we are extremely creative. So, I always speak to that. Our creative ability as highly sensitives isn’t just for the arts, although it might come out in that more traditional way, painting, singing, dancing, etc.

What it really speaks to is that when you are working proactively with your highly sensitive nervous system, it gives you access to that frontal cortex of the head brain. It gives you access to the amygdala, at a higher degree than those who are not highly sensitive. So, you are, literally, going to see creative solutions that others who are not highly sensitive cannot see.

I so appreciate you speaking to the tech space. We do have members in the Business Miracles Community who are in the tech space. When you strip away all of that masculine paradigm that you spoke to around tech, what is tech? It is a massively creative endeavor.

Melinda Wittstock:

Right.

Heather Dominick:

So, those highly sensitive entrepreneurs and leaders that I’m mentoring in tech, they’re able to bring something new to the conversation. Now, what’s required is, again, that fortitude and that courage and that reminder and the accepting of the challenge of being a pioneer in the space. So, you can’t come at it like a bull with horns. You’re going to exhaust yourself. It becomes, literally, a strategic inner and outer process. But again, as you do that, the reward is exponential, not just for yourself, but those that you’re working with. Then, you’re talking about tech. That’s global influence, right there.

Melinda Wittstock:

Yeah. It is. You’re going to see, hear, feel, things that others don’t. That’s going to lead to solutions, that kind of chocolate peanut butter kind of moment. Things that-

Heather Dominick:

Yeah.

Melinda Wittstock:

… other people wouldn’t think to kind of put together.

Heather Dominick:

Yes. I love that.

Melinda Wittstock:

It requires you, though, not only to really know yourself and be very conscious. You mentioned the fortitude of the courage. It’s the challenge, though, of translating yourself so other people actually understand you so you can be effective. So-

Heather Dominick:

You got it. Absolutely. That’s another one of our top 12 strengths. We are excellent with language. However, just like all of the other top 12 strengths that I’ve identified, you have to go through a re-training process to have that knowing of self, embracing of self. Then, what it means to step into those conversations from a clear, grounded place.

So that strength, just like all the other strengths, has to be developed and worked and strengthened just like any other muscle. It’s exactly why I have an entire training series on difficult conversations, which doesn’t necessarily mean just like conflictual conversations, although definitely there, as well. Just like what we’re talking about, a difficult conversation where you’re being called to assert yourself and to bring those new ideas into a very entrenched paradigm, as you said earlier.

Melinda Wittstock:

So, I can imagine different scenarios in the difficult conversations department, Heather. Say for instance, you have a highly sensitive leader, CEO of a company, who’s spotting something like a trend, or something that’s changing, or has this idea and everybody else has to pivot around that. It’s difficult to convince people. It’s like, “Ah, no. We’ve always done it this way.” This happens even in relatively small companies. So, how do you get people to see that and respect that you actually know something that they don’t, that they will trust you to go in that direction when it’s not obvious or apparent, or it might even seem crazy, crazy to them.

Heather Dominick:

I love this conversation. The example that you just gave just, literally, points and highlights to why I am so passionate about everything that I do. So first of all, we have to take that scenario that you just described. We have to acknowledge that if a highly sensitive is untrained, that scenario that you just described is going to kick them into their shadows. They’ve tried to access their voice. The nervous system is going to overstimulate. It’s going to flood. It’s going to give off all of these physiological responses, like sweating, mouth going dry, head going fuzzy, not being able to process the situation, access language, and literally just shut down. That’s what happens for so many very, very talented, insightful, emotionally intelligent, highly sensitives, when they don’t go through the process of training their nervous system. I know. I can definitely relate to that myself.

However, when you do go through the training, then you really begin to develop the strengths that we’ve been highlighting. So in addition to one, your body not betraying you in a high pressured situation, such as this type of difficult conversation scenario that you’ve described, you’re then able to have access to that language. However, you also have access to those strengths of intuition and empathy, for example, your deep listening, your strength of deep feeling and deep thinking. It’s like all those strength cylinders start to operate in the highest level, allowing you to be able to not only access language, but access the language that’s going to most effectively connect and be able to be received and processed by the group that you’re working with. That is when you’re really talking about superpowers. When you can really, then, regulate those strengths, adjust those strengths dependent upon who you’re with, so that you are able to communicate effectively those creative ideas, and then more likely to win others over to consider, like you said, a pivot, a new idea, something that’s not been considered before.

Now again, organization, corporation, but that also applies to being self-employed. I’ve had those situations so many times working with my team, working with the community members I serve and support. I recognize I’m delivering something to them, including times that we’ve had to pivot, especially over the last three years. From their more limited intellectual only brains, it can feel very jarring. So, to be able to deliver it in a way, where then, it can be digested, it can be considered, and then it can be moved forward into action. It’s amazing. It’s absolutely amazing. So again, I’m loving this conversation, and I so appreciate that scenario.

Melinda Wittstock:

So, you’ve mentioned some of the different things that people are going through in this transformation from the epiphany of, “Oh, my God. I’m highly sensitive.” “Oh, this is how this impacted me.” Oh, this is how I can change this.” “These are the different tools for coping.” What is that kind of period of transformation in your course? How long does it take? What are some of the before and afters, in terms of a business impact?

Heather Dominick:

Well, one of the things that I’m most proud of, regarding the Highly Sensitive Leadership Training programs is that we do have seven tracks of leadership curriculum. You assess into the track that’s going to be most of service to you, and where you are at, when you enter into your leadership training program. However, the program is also designed to be very individualized. Talk about doing things differently, like we’ve been talking about. We have this really unique setup that I haven’t seen anywhere else. There’s the value of a community element, while you also engage in self-study. Then also, individualized support. So, we have members in the community who are maybe start-ups. Maybe, they’ve known they’re highly sensitive, or they’ve just discovered they’re highly sensitive, and they’re just entering into starting a business.

We have seasoned business owners who have been in business 10 years, 15 years, 25 years, who are generating multimillions. We have those who are consultants in high levels of government organizations, or other leadership positions such as academia. There’s this beautiful ability of what is able to accelerate when this community of highly sensitives, who are committed to empowerment, come together, and able to work through the Leadership Training program in an individualized way that makes sense for who they are and where they are. So that transformational tipping point, if you will, or that paced timing, also is really individualized. We have many members who choose to remain in the community because they’re just in a consistent state of upward spiral evolution and always going to the next level of how they’re working with their nervous system and how that applies to their current leadership focus.

Melinda Wittstock:

Ah. That is amazing. So, I want to make sure, Heather, people know how to find you, work with you, get your book, take the assessment. We’ll have all of this in the show notes, but what’s the best way? What’s the best starting place?

Heather Dominick:

For sure. Everything is at www.businessmiracles.com. The assessment, which is totally free resource, comes with a success guide depending on, again, whether you’re somewhat super, or super uber. Blog, podcast, training kits to start, opportunity to talk to me, or a member of the coach team, it’s all right there, businessmiracles.com.

Melinda Wittstock:

Fantastic. Well, thank you so much for putting on your WINGS with us. I didn’t sneeze. I mean, it was miraculous. Yeah. I so enjoyed the conversation. Thank you.

Heather Dominick:

Yeah. Likewise. Me, too. I love your show. Really, really appreciate our time together.