809 Melinda Wittstock: Honoring Mothers’ Day

How to Honor the Good and Transform the Bad

So much of who we are and what we achieve as women pioneering in business comes down to the gifts – and the limiting beliefs – we got from our mothers.

In honor of Mother’s Day, I get personal and share more of my story as a daughter and as a mother by opening my heart to honor my mother, who passed away peacefully three weeks ago at age 95.

My mom’s story is both unique and universal. She was many things and many contradictions.

A light that shone as dazzlingly bright as the Olympic figure skating star that she was, inspiring the New York Times in 1948 to write of her joyous musical expression of Carmen as “poetry the ice” at St Moritz winter games… A light that prompted the likes of Ginger Rogers and Ronald Reagan to ask her for her autograph… A light that lit the room in creative expression, especially her habit of breaking into song, usually opera or a sacred aria. A light of spontaneous playfulness magical to any young child.

And yet a light too that dimmed in a disastrous marriage to an equally bright light of a man – my father – who didn’t really see or understand her, just as she really didn’t see or understand him. A light that dimmed under the financial pressure of being a single mom to three kids with a business that worked her 7 days a week, 14 hours a day.

Like many women she was pulled in a million different directions and always doing her best. Yet as a child, it is impossible to understand all the drama and dynamics that at times made it very painful to be near her.

Only with the decades that have past have I been able to work towards reconciling the good and the bad, what I made it all mean about me both consciously and unconsciously, and with my growth in conscious awareness let go of what doesn’t serve and embrace all the good.

Think for a moment about your own mom. What was she up against? How did she handle the challenges of life? What was her mindset? What values did she impart to you? How much of her experiences did you internalize to make it mean something about your own worthiness or confidence?

Live long enough and you start to see all the ways you have replicated in some way or another what you learned from your parents.

So, when you think of your mom, think of all the good she passed to you, even in the things that manifested as negatives. The negatives are the things that help you grow, learn, and heal as you become more aligned with your own true essence.  And when you think about the mom you are being to your kids, have some compassion for yourself. You are here to help them learn through your own experiences, and the more consciously aware of these dynamics you become, the more at ease and joyful you will be.

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