766 Ungenita Prevost:

How much time do you spend networking? I don’t mean balancing a drink, canapes and awkward small talk at an event. I mean cultivating relationships, reaching out to new people, taking time to let people know you are thinking of them, looking for ways to provide value in advice, mentorship or connecting them to others? Many busy entrepreneurs fail to invest enough quality time in this, and my guest Ungenita Prevost says this is what holds them back from success in their businesses.

MELINDA

Hi, I’m Melinda Wittstock and welcome to Wings of Inspired Business, where we share the inspiring entrepreneurial journeys, epiphanies, and practical advice from successful female founders … so you have everything you need at your fingertips to build the business and life of your dreams. I’m a 5-time serial entrepreneur who has lived and breathed the ups and downs of starting and growing businesses, currently the game changing social podcast app Podopolo. Wherever you are listening to this, take a moment and join the Wings community over on Podopolo, where we can take the conversation further with your questions, perspectives, experiences, and advice for other female founders at whatever stage of the journey you’re at! Because together we’re stronger, and we soar higher when we fly together.

Today we meet an inspiring entrepreneur who has made it her mission to help 10 million women build social capital and monetize their growing networks. Ungenita Prevost is the founder of Networking in Stilettos and host of the podcast Billion Dollar Rolodex, and she shares today why it’s vital we all spend MUCH more time building our networks and deepening our relationships if we want access to more capital, better team members, and faster growing businesses.

Business is about people, and success in business depends on our relationships. Sure, what you know is important but who you know is much more important – so why do so many women entrepreneurs overlook the importance of networking?

Yes, I hear you say my ‘to do’ list is already long enough. I have no time, I’m spread too thin. Yes, we’ve all been there. Instead imagine for a moment if you invested just 15 minutes every day reaching out to people you already know – checking in with a quick “thinking of you” or “what’s happening in your world” text? And reaching out to those you don’t know and know something you don’t on LinkedIn or wherever? Every business grows because its leadership team is cultivating relationships – its how you get customer referrals, its how you attract and nurture a great team, how you get access to capital, and how you create your own luck by having opportunities land at your doorstep.

So why don’t women in particular spend enough time cultivating what Ungenita Prevost calls social capital?

Ungenita learned the power of networking early in life. Placed in a foster home at 15, with no prospect of being able to go to college, she knew she needed to create her own luck and before long learned how to build and monetize her network. Her relationships created all sorts of opportunities: She was a Hollywood body double, a music video dancer, and before long she had learned enough to become the OG of networking and monetizing her relationships – and decided to use her insights to help women build their social capital.

Ungenita is the founder of Networking in Stilettos, a fast-growing global women’s leadership network. She’s also the host of the Billion Dollar Rolodex podcast, and she’s on a mission to help 10 million women build and monetize their networks. Today she shares practical tips you won’t want to miss, so let’s put on our wings with the inspiring Ungenita Prevost and be sure to download the podcast app Podopolo so we can keep the conversation going after the episode.

Melinda Wittstock:

Ungenita, welcome to Wings.

Ungenita Prevost:

Thank you for having me, Melinda. I’m so excited to be here.

Melinda Wittstock:

Well, I’m excited to have you because your mission is so aligned with the mission of this podcast to really empower women and empower them in business. And what led you to start networking in stilettos?

Ungenita Prevost:

Well, I’ll tell you, I’ve been networking in stilettos since I was 15 years old.

Melinda Wittstock:

You were in stilettos at 15? That’s impressive.

Ungenita Prevost:

No, no. I wasn’t in stilettos at 15, but I was placed in a foster home at 15. And when I was placed in that home, I found out quickly that I wasn’t going to have any money and they were going to give us like $20 a week and I thought, I need a job. So I saw a flyer on the door and it said, we’re looking for kids to hand out flyers in the neighborhood for a local realtor. And I called and I didn’t want to do that job. I just thought it wasn’t glamorous enough. I wanted something a little bit more professional and I basically offered, I created my own position. So I asked for a receptionist job and they said, you know what? We need someone to answer the phones on the weekend. Sure, why not? So they invited me in for an interview, Century 21 Realtors in San Jose, California.

And I got the job. And I worked there for two years from the time I was 15 to 17, answering the phones and coordinating open houses. And so that was the first time I monetized my network. So I consider myself an OG. And being in foster care, networking changed my life, because when I was aged out at 18, I didn’t have opportunity to go to college. I went straight into the workforce. I worked in retail, mostly beauty and fashion, but every opportunity came via connecting with people, building, back then it wasn’t social capital, I didn’t call it social capital back then, but essentially building social capital.

And so that’s why it’s such a big deal to me and it ruffles my feathers when I look at the landscape in terms of the women’s empowerment and the women’s leadership community because they’re missing the mark when it comes to this piece called social capital. And if a little black girl who was dragged through the foster care system experienced every financial hardship you can possibly imagine, homeless, jobless, carless, cashless and parentless, and be here doing the work that I do, because I took the time to connect with the right people and connect the right people, why aren’t everyone else jumping on this bandwagon?

Melinda Wittstock:

It’s a really interesting question because it’s something that men really focus on more than women often when women are uniquely talented in this area. It’s kind of a conundrum. What do you think holds women back from really getting out there and forming these relationships and social capital as you call it, and networking? Because business at the end of the day is about relationship. It’s about people.

Ungenita Prevost:

I think because women aren’t strategic, I think. And I know women are out there probably listening, they’re going to think, well, I’m strategic and I’m a great networker. But strategic in the sense that when you meet people in a networking situation, this is where I believe after witnessing this for so many years, I believe women go wrong because when they are networking, they’re not thinking, today, tomorrow, next month, next year, 10 years. They’re not thinking in those terms. And most of the time what they do when they’re networking, they’re forcing a sale, I need to sell my coaching program or I need to sell my vitamins. And they put expiration dates on people. So they cut off the opportunity to build a rapport with someone who could be quite valuable in their life at some point. And I think the other thing that women do is they get caught up into mindless chit chat versus a money making conversation.

Melinda Wittstock:

I think that can often happen. And I think the other thing too is that so many women are in this kind of a task treadmill of proving their competence. And so heads down, getting it done, doing all the things, doing it all perfectly, doing, doing, doing, doing, there’s kind of like no time at the end of the day. They’re like, where do I find time? How do I do this? Whereas all their men colleagues are out developing relationships and delegating all that stuff, yeah? It’s simplistic, but it tends to be true.

Ungenita Prevost:

I would agree. I think especially in the leadership area, I think a lot of women say, oh, I don’t have time to network. And then women who are starting out, they do network, but they say that it’s a waste of time. So for me, it goes back to strategy. And it’s really simple. It’s essentially what I did at 15, what I did at 18, what I did at 25. It’s having the confidence to communicate your value and assert yourself. And a lot of times in networking, women pull back, women are intimidated. They don’t want to talk about themselves because they don’t want to be perceived as bragging.

And often they miss opportunities. And sometimes the other thing is women get triggered by other women. So if another woman is really confident, walk into a room and another woman is really confident, some women pull back because they’re like, oh gosh, she’s really confident. Oh, I don’t know if I should talk. Oh gosh, I’m not that important. So it’s a lot of stuff, most of it is internal, and it’s what drove me to create my feminine leadership network essentially. Really. That’s it in a nutshell.

Melinda Wittstock:

So in your network, I’m guessing that a lot of this is not only helping people find the opportunities to network effectively, but it’s training women, the how, but also the why.

Ungenita Prevost:

Absolutely. I created a whole methodology around this called the principles of feminine networking and taking women through a process. And I have to tell you, a lot of women think that they already know how to network. So they go, oh, I don’t really need that. But when they come in and they see the framework, they get it because it’s having what I call a million dollar introduction. Being able to answer the question, so what do you do, in less than 30 seconds. That’s really like the foundation. Asking smart questions, asking questions at the right time, not forcing the sale like I shared earlier. And also, being strategic and thinking long term.

Some people you’re not going to get alone with. There are just some people that you meet and you go, oh. Follow your intuition. It’s not a good fit. But sometimes you have to be willing to explore because if you get a hit, your intuition goes, you know what? There’s something here. Explore it. And it may not be related to money today, but be okay with that. What if it’s a resource that leads you to someone who leads you to a money making opportunity? So for me it’s about the long term game. And I have this phrase, I am a sophisticated opportunista. So I go in with zero expectations, but I’m always open for an opportunity. I’m always looking for an opportunity. And again, that opportunity might be five years from now, but I’m okay with building the rapport.

Melinda Wittstock:

I think what you said just a moment ago that you never really know what’s going to happen as a result of your connections. And I guess like a garden, a garden is not going to grow if you don’t water it. And so even when you don’t need something from someone, just checking in, hey, how are you doing? What can I do for you? What are some of the practical steps of say, sticking with this garden metaphor, of growing that in a way that is not overwhelming, you’re not going to burn out doing it. What’s a manageable way of just starting that process?

Ungenita Prevost:

Well, I love the rule of 150. Dunbar’s rule. It’s not humanly possible to stay in touch with more than 150 people at a time. And most of the time, women go, I don’t have time to stay in touch. I don’t have time to talk to people. Well, you can send them a happy birthday, you can send them a text, you can send them an email, you can have a private email list. You can drop them a voice message. You can connect with them on social. I mean, there’s so many ways to stay in touch with people without bothering people. Because that’s normally the sort of issue that women have. I think, oh, I’m bothering people. So can I use you as an example?

Melinda Wittstock:

By all means. Go ahead.

Ungenita Prevost:

Okay, you’re very busy and I so love our first conversation. It was amazing. And once again you were referred to me, but you are someone that I admire, I look up to. So I’m just going to stay in touch. Now, after this interview, it might be a few months from now, I check in, say hello. Obviously I’m now on Podopolo, so I’m going to be looking into that and working with you on the podcast. But it’s just a natural thing. You see someone, you see, wow, this person’s really valuable. I want this person in my life. You make the effort. And again, no expectations, no, okay, I got to make a sale today. It’s not about that. And what happens when you get in the habit of doing it, you will by default make money because people will talk about you. People will ask what you do. People will want to help you.

They will refer, introduce, et cetera. So I don’t like to make it overly complicated because there are a lot of systems out there and this whole internet marketing world where they make things so difficult. And then women say, I don’t want to create all these funnels to stay in touch with people. I want a simple way. And so for me it’s about keeping it simple. Trust me, I stay in touch with the important people and it’s not a problem.

Melinda Wittstock:

You think, just even if you texted 10 people a day, hey, how’s it going? Anything I can do for you?

Ungenita Prevost:

Exactly.

Melinda Wittstock:

Thinking of you. I mean, you can even, if you want to get really systemic about it, just like program, you’ve got an iPhone, you can do short text programming, right?

Ungenita Prevost:

Yeah.

Melinda Wittstock:

But it’s what my mom used to say to me, it’s the thought that counts. It’s that you actually care. And to be able to do that in a way that’s not overwhelming. I think women, part of the issue, I’m curious what you think about this, is that we tend to sometimes confuse having it all with having to do it all right? And women get very, very busy on their to-do list that’s never done. And then we can be more strategic with our time. And think about the points of leverage, where by doing one thing, there’s a multiplicity of outcomes.

It’s not necessarily like you said in the instantaneous, but those outcomes may come later, either when you need it or just by some delightful surprise that helps you really grow your business or hire the critical person that you need for your business or have, I mean, there’s so many benefits of it. So when you’re working with women stuck in that to do treadmill and they see this, oh my god, it’s another thing to do, how do you talk them down from that ledge?

Ungenita Prevost:

Well, for me, it’s about knowing who you would like to meet. Who are the people? Creating a personal list and a professional list. And focusing on the types of people that you’d like to meet and then putting yourself in those environments, whether they are virtual or in person. So that way you’re not just going out to go out or network to network. So for example, if you are looking for speaking opportunities, then you put yourself in those places where you’re going to get more speaking opportunities. Same thing with, if you’re hiring talent or you are looking for leads, it’s just important to know, okay, who do I need right now in my life? And start to think about ways you can connect with those people, but also think long term and be open. Just be open. I have people come to me all the time with opportunities. And they’ll say, do you know someone? And of course, because I know a lot of people.

Melinda Wittstock:

You do.

Ungenita Prevost:

Absolutely.

Melinda Wittstock:

So you make yourself indispensable, Ungenita, in that sense. Like anyone listening to this podcast, chances are, you’re going to know more people or more the right people, or you’re going to know how to get to those people.

Ungenita Prevost:

Yeah, exactly. And I think the mistake that women make is they only reach out when they need something. And that’s just not a good time to reach out. I can’t tell you how many people reach out to me when they need something. And it feels icky. It’s not authentic. It doesn’t matter how much you compliment me. It doesn’t matter if you post or comment on my post on LinkedIn. It’s obvious. And that’s what I don’t do. And I tell my clients this, don’t put expiration dates on people. Take the time to build a rapport so that when you need something, want something, it’s not awkward and the person doesn’t ghost you.

Because people will say, oh, well I sent a message and they ghosted me. Well, they’re probably ghosting you because you don’t have a rapport. There’s nothing there. So this is a practice, this is an art. And I think this is why I get so frustrated and I have such a big mission. This is my mission. 10 million women building social capital to drive financial capital. I know with every fiber in my being, I know that that’s a world changing move right there.

Melinda Wittstock:

When we have a world in which women are genuinely showing up for each other, like I say on this podcast all the time, we soar higher when we fly together. So when we’re actually buying each other’s products, promoting each other’s things, being there to mentor, offer help, and investing capital in other female founded businesses, that’s where not only the game of business changes, but that’s where we level the playing field. What exists right now, say women still two decades on only get 2% of venture capital money. So why is that? Part of it is relationship. Women are not part of that whole relationship, haven’t developed a rapport with all the VCs say.

And if you walk in cold, you don’t have that relationship, it’s much harder to raise the money. Sure, there’s all kinds of other unconscious biases and all sorts of things going on there. But at the end of the day, it’s the relationship. So for instance, if you know that you need to raise capital for your business, kind of a year from now, start figuring out, okay, how can I get to know these folks and develop a relationship, for example. But when we’re really helping each other in that way from a generosity of spirit, I think we’re unstoppable.

Ungenita Prevost:

Oh, I agree. I agree. But I also know that there’s a little bit of a, I want to say sometimes women can be hypocrites, because what you do in private is just as important as what you do in public. And so sometimes women get on, they want to march and come together, but they’re not dealing with the real issues. And the social capital piece is such a big issue. I mean, the network gap is just as important as the equity gap and the investment gap. Because if you don’t have the networks, you’re not going to get the right jobs, you’re not going to get the jobs, you’re not going to even get an opportunity to be interviewed for the job. Starting a business.

I mean, every single position arena a woman is in this economic time, it’s impacted by the network app. And so that’s why I say, you know what, we have to look at this and we have to take it seriously. It’s not social networking. People think, oh, well I have fans, followers, and likes. Okay, add all of your fans, followers, likes and subscribers. And if you’re not making that amount of money every month, what’s the point?

Melinda Wittstock:

Yeah, it’s a vanity metric in a way.

Ungenita Prevost:

Yeah, that’s all it is, but I mean, what’s the ROI? And I have women that come to me and they have all of these metrics and they don’t know how to monetize their network. I mean, that blows my mind. Like something so simple. Monetize your network. It’s a marketing strategy, it’s a sales strategy, it’s a lead gen strategy. You know?

Melinda Wittstock:

So you do make it sound simple, Ungenita, but I can also imagine women in this, oh gosh, I just don’t even know how to start. What do I do? And putting things in front of it. I find that everything comes down to the subconscious or fears or what we think we can do.

And the perfectionism is a big part of so many women who do what my mom used to do, which was clean the house before the housekeeper came. So when you’re working with women to try and overcome those very deep seated societal, I guess, beliefs, subconscious blocks that I think we all have because we’re all swimming in the same soup, we all have that to different degrees. What’s the process that you take women through so they can be empowered and own this and just develop more confidence as they start to network in stilettos or running shoes?

Ungenita Prevost:

Exactly, yeah, people think that I wear stilettos all wthe time. I don’t, but I have a beautiful shoe collection. For me it starts with communication. I think understanding how to communicate your value and finding your voice. I think that’s the first step. And so that’s why I go back to that million dollar introduction. And I know it sounds over the top, but I’m that kind of girl. And the name sounds good so I ran with it. But it’s very effective because what it will do is it will help you understand you because it’s a framework. Introduce yourself in a way where you tell people a little bit about you, a little bit about your sort of personal life, and not trying to sell, but positioning yourself so the other person will ask you a question. And that’s the key. It doesn’t matter if you’re in line at Starbucks or you’re sitting on a plane or you’re at a women’s conference.

That introduction should be so tight. And I tell women, work on your introduction. Work on your introduction. And then they don’t want to work on their introduction because they think they can wing it. I met a guy who runs, well, he doesn’t do this anymore, but he used to run a VC in, what is it, Silicon Valley, I can’t remember if it was Palo Alto or Mountain View, but 750 million this guy raised. Okay, lots of money. And I met this guy on a virtual breakout session and we had seven minutes and I connected with this guy. Seven minutes, connected, exchanged info, book to call. That’s what I’m talking about, being able to do that, because you may not have that opportunity again. So why not be ready every day? Why not be ready when you hop on Zoom? Why not be ready when you enter the room?

And everyone talks about owning the room, but you need to assess the room. You need to know who’s in the room. And that way, you’re prepared. You can ask the appropriate questions. So when I met the VC, the first thing I wanted to know was, well, did you raise money for women owned businesses? And he said, no, most of the businesses were tech and those Silicon Valley type businesses. And I said, well why is that? Why not raise money for women? And he had his reasons, I respect that. But he gave me some information. And I was very happy with that, because I learned, I walked away with a resource. That’s another thing that women forget. There are some valuable resources out there. People have resources and they’re not asking the right questions because they’re thinking, well, this guy is not interested in helping women.

I don’t need to talk to him. Goodbye. No, let’s have a conversation. And I learned something. Remember, I didn’t go to school, I didn’t go to Stanford. He went to Stanford. But I walked away more educated because I had that conversation with him. And that’s the piece, that’s why I say, learn how to talk to people. There’s this whole intimidation piece. That’s the other factor. Oh my gosh, this person’s a billionaire. Oh my gosh, this person’s a millionaire. Oh my god, this person’s a celebrity. It doesn’t matter. You can talk to anyone when you learn how to communicate.

Melinda Wittstock:

That introduction of yourself, being able to spin it as a question to them so they’re invested and then you know where they’re coming from and you can contextually just adapt what you do to that. So an example of that would be someone says, Hey Melinda, what do you do? And I said, well hey, do you like podcasting? What type of podcast do you listen to? Okay? Well, I am a podcaster. Oh really? Okay. So if I know if they’re a podcast listener or what types of podcasts they listen to or now I know they’re a podcaster. What I do is the same thing, but it’s just more relevant to them. And now we’re in a conversation rather than just some sort of, I’m a CEO of a company.

Ungenita Prevost:

Yeah, exactly.

Melinda Wittstock:

Right.

Ungenita Prevost:

Exactly. Exactly, exactly. And breaking the ice, that’s the big thing that women often say. I don’t know what to say. Well, start with an icebreaker. Find a common denominator. You like pumpkin latte? I love pumpkin latte. Oh my gosh, I love your shoes. Oh my gosh, where are you headed? I’m flying to London. Whatever. Just find a common denominator and start the conversation. Listen, because this is a big thing that women forget to do. They forget to listen because oftentimes they’re either nervous or they’re uncomfortable and they forget to listen because you’ll get clues. Say, you know what, I have a podcast. Oh really? Yes. I have a podcast.

Oh wow. Well, I have a podcast, I have a company. We work with podcasters. Oh wow. That’s amazing. So it’s simple. But I understand it’s complex because in the era that we live called social networking, it’s very difficult for women to wrap their head around this concept. And for many, it’s sad. They will not invest in this skillset. And I get that. But I am still on my mission to get to the 10 million. Because this is serious. And everyone’s talking about a recession. I started my Feminine Leadership Network during the global pandemic, lockdown, whatever we’re calling it now. I started. Right smack in the-

Melinda Wittstock:

Began in the midst of that. In fact, the best businesses actually come out of recessions or difficult takes because it forces you to be scrappy and resourceful.

Ungenita Prevost:

Exactly.

Melinda Wittstock:

As an entrepreneur, honestly.

Ungenita Prevost:

Right. And it requires connecting with the right people. It requires an investing in the right people. It requires asking the right questions. It requires developing your skillsets, your communication, really understanding what’s going on in the market and being well rounded. I worked in the entertainment business, I worked in beauty and fashion. However, I make sure that I’m aware of what’s going on in other industries. I just finished a very big opportunity with a major financial services company, like $30 billion, one of the biggest firms in the world. And I was able to get into this organization. Guess what? Networking.

But I don’t have a tech background. Even though I have a podcast and I’m launching an app and I’ve leveraged Zoom and LinkedIn, but I’m not like a traditional tech girl. But I open myself up to that industry. And I think that’s another piece with networking. Women go, okay, well I’m in beauty and fashion, so I’m only going to network with beauty and fashion people. Okay, you’re going to limit yourself. Or I’m a coach and I’m only looking for coaching clients and I’m only going to go where I can get clients.

Well, you’re limiting yourself. So that’s the other piece. And it takes time to develop this. And this is why I have created this methodology. It’s available if women want to learn it. I have several different tiers in my Feminine Leadership Network and Elite Business Matchmaking Club where women who are starting out, I have something for them. Women who are at higher levels, I have a more elite group. And those women don’t want mentorship, but they want to create strategic partnerships and they want to collaborate and they’re looking for additional revenue streams or opportunities. And so we come together and we build social capital.

Melinda Wittstock:

So I find what you’re doing incredibly inspiring. I love when people have a mission and they walk their talk on helping others along. How far are you on your goal to the 10 million women? How can everybody in this podcast listen to the podcast part of this? Because honestly, I need to improve this. I don’t know one who doesn’t. At whatever stage of that journey, I could get better at it for sure.

Ungenita Prevost:

Well, my big ask is for women, if you resonate with this, to reach out to me, share this podcast with other women, spread the word. My LinkedIn community reached 24,000. So I have a ways to go.

Melinda Wittstock:

That’s so good. Because each of those 20, what if there was a great force multiplier on each of those 24,000 start doing this and it just becomes bigger and bigger and bigger. I mean, I believe you’ll get there.

Ungenita Prevost:

I do believe it. I do. I have something in the works that will definitely assist us with that. But more importantly, I really want women to take this on in this time and just start to think about this like they think about their marketing, like they think about their sales, like they think about their lead gen. And looking at people differently. I think that’s the other thing. We tend to prejudge a lot online because we see images and personas. And I think now it’s time to go deeper and really get to know the people that you are connected with online and explore the possibilities.

Because you just never know. What’s the point of having 10,000 people if you’re not connected with at least 10% of them? I mean, what’s the point? So I think it’s just time, because right now, the state of the world, I mean, what are we going do? If we can’t connect, what are we going to do? And I will never be in a position where I have to rely on someone, so to speak. I go out and I create my opportunities because I’m surrounded by amazing people. And so, I’m always in the mix of amazing opportunities.

Melinda Wittstock:

That’s wonderful. Well, I want to make sure that everybody also tunes into your podcast on Podopolo and everywhere else where you get your podcast, Billion Dollar Rolodex. Great show. And it’s so great to have you there Ungenita and I want to make sure that everybody knows exactly how to find your LinkedIn community, how to connect with you and all the things.

Ungenita Prevost:

Absolutely. Yes. So you can go to femmeglobal500.com and connect with me there, but connect with me directly on LinkedIn and please stop by and say hello and say that you listened to the podcast and check out Billion Dollar Rolodex as well. Thank you.

Melinda Wittstock:

Well, thank you so much for putting on your wings and flying with us today.

Ungenita Prevost:

Fly, fly, fly.